Being a bar owner often means having to live in location which is tough. Your home is your business and your business is your home. Add a relationship into the mix and now you have a big juggling act on your hands. Being a bachelor, one would think that the state of your home wouldn’t matter too much, but it turns out that building a relationship is like maintaining your home… if your prepared to change your home for her, then she’s a keeper and if she’s prepared to tolerate your bachelor mess then the bond between the relationship will be stronger.
If anything it really is like running a business, find the right partner and success will come your way!
Creating A Supportive Relationship By Taking Care Of Your Side Of The House
Intimate relationships are like a house. When partners are able to create a supportive and secure environment, they can love and be loved for being as they are – perfectly imperfect. We can call this home.
Being in an intimate relationship is a bit like a house, in fact I’d go as far as saying your house can create a supportive environment for the relationship. Working on your home will help build up the success of your relationship even if you are in the dating period (remember, she will eventually have to see your home).
Making my home feel safe and comfortable was key to my success when dating my girlfriend. Making it less of a bachelor pad and more suited for both of you is key. However, it’s also key not to make it feel too feminine otherwise she will pick up on what women call lifestyle dating, which is the art of perceiving or reflecting a certain lifestyle in order to get dates. In essences, don’t make your place feel too feminine, otherwise she might get a sense that many girls come to yours.
Simple things like making the decor less manly and more neutral, removing your gaming console and even leaving the toilet seat down in the bathroom can make a difference.
Think of it in the same way Bumble works, the app that is Tinder’s cousin, but the only difference is that women have control and get the final says as to whether they want to be with you. Provided she is the one you want to be with, you have to do everything in your power to win her over. Imagine your house being your Bumble profile, it is the first thing she sees and the only thing she can use to gauge if she feels you are a right match for her. If women keep coming to your house but you never hear from them again, then that’s the equivalent of getting no matches on Bumble and more than likely means you need to clean up your profile… just like you have to clean up your home. If you cannot be bothered to do that, you can always use Bumble’s paid service Boost to further your reach, much in the same way you can higher an interior decorator to redo your home to impress her so that you can get to that second and even third date.
And if she eventually moves in after a few months and applies the same courtesy as you do her, THEN you are on the way to a successful relationship, provided of course there’s an attraction.
Build Intimacy By Making Your Partner Feel Comfortable Around Her Environment
I touched on the previous paragraph that both partners need to play their role and tend their part of the house… in essence, developing trust!
Empathy is also a keep role, when you put yourself in your partners shoes, you are no longer a threat. You provide the sense of understanding which will reduce potential conflict and fights. There is nothing worse than having a home which should be a safe, comfortable environment, but is now a prison for constant arguments.
Playing your role, cleaning up and decluttering, do a little extra by cooking in the kitchen for her… all these small tasks add up and reduced mental tension. You will be blown away how your home can be used to inject health in to your relationship or even attracting women at the beginning stages of your relationship.
When A House Is No Longer A Home For The Couple
Unfortunately we often learn the hard way and sometimes you she’s not for you or you not for her, or both.
The state of your home and whether you both play your part will be an instant and clear reflection. as to whether you are both meant to be for each other.
Believe it when people say, it is always best to knock it on the head when it’s not working between the both of you. Couples stay together for years trying to make it work, only to regret the time that was wasted which could have been used on someone more matched to you!
Say your partner is the one who is knocking holes in the walls like beginner golf lessons and you have done your part and behaved responsibly, then you can self-regulate and not react in anger. You will know you did your part around the house and it is up to your partner now to look at their responsibilities.
Do not respond to your partner’s upset or withdrawal with more withdrawal… your work it to begin repairing immediately and to do that you start working on your home!
Unfortunately I did not play my part and as mentioned at start of the article and now find myself a bachelor again. However, I am looking forward to doing this again once I meet my future lady!